Drunken Blatherings
by RobertDowneyJrLove
Summary: Mac reflects on the night a drunken Stella blurted something that made him rethink his feelings, and made her his fiance!


"I love you Mac"

He should have seen it coming, after all everyone else did. He supposed it was because he was so thick or hard headed. Everyone knew that if they ever did get together, it would be by force and thinking about it now, he supposed had she not taken it action, it probably would have been by force. He supposed he could have refused to tell her that he returned her feelings, but he couldn't, he knew how he felt and looking back now he knows that he would not have been able to hold them in, even though in the past eight or so years that's something he's been awfully good at. He knows now that his feelings for her have always been there but he refused to acknowledge them. Looking back, he probably would have told her sooner, had he not been so afraid of his own heart.

It had been his birthday, the gang had taken him to Sullivan's, the local police bar and when she said it, it had been after a couple of shots of something he was sure qualified as hard liquor. He thought it was the liquor, but the next day, when she was sober she said it again, although he suspected she had no previous memory of the night before. He brushed it off but he never could quite get her words out of his mind. He knew she meant as more than just a friend, because of the way she left out the part about them being best friends. He also knew she could be quite crazy when she was drunk, especially when it was whatever was in that glass that she was drinking out of when she said it. Of course it was hard not to think about what she said, even though he thought it was the hard liquor talking. Her brain could conjure up all sorts of things when it was fuzzy with alcohol, the alcohol seeming effecting the more logical side of her brain and not so much her creative side as most of the things that slipped out of her mouth were a little more colorful than they were logical.

They were such strong words, when they were said, your brain automatically had to analyze what they meant, were they friendly, more then friendly or were they just said as a family sort of thing. His brain went into over drive trying to think about what was meant by what she had said. Four words and yet every time he thought about them, they seemed like so much more than just a few words mumbled by a drunk woman who probably had no recollection of ever saying them.

He knew then that he loved her too, even though he now knew he preferred her sober as to being stone cold drunk as she was that night. Looking back now, he knows that he has no regrets about what happened, if he had, he wouldn't be here with here. He wouldn't be about to marry the woman. He knew marrying her he would have take her as she was, even if that meant seeing the drunk side of her, of course if he had to see the drunk side of her he would be cancelling comedy central on his cable as his drunk fiance was more than a night's entertainment. After all that night when she whispered the three words he has to admit, he had been longing to hear, he nearly laughed because her voice was slurry and she was tripping over her own feet. Up until then he had never known how funny she was when she was drunk, as before when he had seen her drunk she was only drunk on wine not on hard liquor, and she was not tripping over her own feet, the slurry words however were another story, she could drink one glass of wine and her voice sounded like she had eaten a jar of Vaseline.

He knew then he returned her more than friendly affections, he just wasn't sure if her affections were more than friendly because of the liquor that had been clouding her judgment. After all his mind did tend to over analyze things, she had often joked that he wasn't gonna get any sleep in this lifetime. He knew she loved him, but what kind of love were they talking, because if it was a more than a friendly kind of love well he would be having a serious talk with her, well his lips were going to be having a very serious conversation with her lips to put it that way. He remembered that his suspicions of it being more than a friendly kind of love, were confirmed when she had kissed him on the corner of his mouth, very close to his mouth. When she pulled away from him, he pulled her back into a rather passionate and heated kiss.

That became their habit, she would kiss him on the corner of the mouth and he would pull her into a rather heated kiss. Of course Sinclair was not very happy, but looking back now, he realizes that Sinclair probably just had to say that to make whoever was above him happy. Sinclair had to have known it would happen sometime, after all according to members of their staff it was a long time coming. He realizes now that it was, they aren't just partners, they weren't back then, they were and still are best friends. Of course being best friends with a woman was not easy, but looking back now he realizes that she never made it easy, and neither did he, they both contributed to their relationship as friends being full of trials and tribulations, but now it only made them.

Now six weeks after he had proposed, he steals one more glance at his sleeping fiance before climbing out of bed in search of a midnight snack to fuel his brain. Recollecting on that night, made him blush deeply and laugh slightly of course she blushed too as he had told her what had happened that night. He searched the cabinets for food as the memories kept coming. He realizes now that Drew Bedford was what really made him see what had been there all along. Drew had brought her into his sick little games. He had wanted Mac to know what it was like to lose someone you care about and the laser was set up and ready for the next person to walk through, and Mac could only pray it wasn't her. It couldn't be her, he had already lost one woman he loved, he couldn't lose another.

Finally finding a loaf of bread, he digs some lunch meat out of the fridge and makes his self a quick sandwich and some water before sitting down at the counter. He knows now that if he had it to do all over again, he wouldn't, he couldn't, because living through the terror of wondering if she would be the next victim of the violent Drew Bedford was not something he could do. He knew who that laser was set for and it was not any of the rest of the team, it was set for her, he had known by the height the gun was set at that if she had walked through the door, that gun would have sent a bullet straight to her heart. That was not something he cared to relive.

Finishing his sandwich and his water, he set the plate and glass in the sink, and carefully made his way back into the bedroom. He laid down on the bed next to his still sleeping fiance and pulled her in his arms, holding her tight as she rolled over and buried her face in his chest. Looking back now, he smiles at the way they came to be, because he knew if his fiance hadn't been affected the way she was by the alcohol, she probably never would have blurted out those three little words that had captured his heart and had made him take action to make her his.

So tonight he leans down and whispers three little words that took him a week to say after she had said it. He knows it was stupid but tonight he'll make up for it, because he knows she's pretending to be asleep but she's not really, she knows what he's about to do as he does it every time their awake without the other knowing. That's when the words mean the most because he's not saying it in front of anyone, they're alone, curled up with each other and that's as intimate as it comes and that's all she can ask for.

"I love you Stella"


End file.
